Xtremly Scray - A My Immortal Parody
by Lullaby of Broadway
Summary: Warning - some of this parody is extremely goofy (and intentionally poorly written). Taking it seriously is not advisd, but viower excretion is. Please read the real My Immortal before reading this - otherwise it makes no sense. Rated T for stupidly written sex scenes and misspelled swears.
1. Chapter 1

XTREMLY SCRAY

Legitimate Author's Note: All of the following is done deliberately horribly. Flame all you want, I don't mind! Yes, I know My Immortal's ten years old – but it simply refuses to die. Just four months ago there was an article in Vulture about it and it has a continually active and expanding wiki. I doubt I'm the first to make a parody of this, but who cares?!(1111111) THERE MUST BE MORE! XTREMLY SCRAY is predominantly a parody of the laughably bad My Immortal, but there are also elements of the equally stupid "Forbiden Fruit – The Tempation of Edward Cullen" and My Immortal's sister fics "Ghost of You" and "I'm Not Okay". For the record, I don't own a lick of this – certainly not the Harry Potter characters/world/mythos, not the story, and hell, you can even take Hot Topic BloodRose. I am also a first class prep – pink and all. I know not a thing about My Chemical Romance or any such "goffic" band other than what My Immortal taught me. When I first read My Immortal, I fell over laughing repeatedly – boy do I love things that suck. In my spoof I take a look at the further reaching consequences of a Mary Sue like Ebony's actions as well as show an in-depth look at the psyches of preps and posers. I am using the same definitions of "preps" "posers" and "goths" as Tara does, and as a warning I will be spoofing Tara's casual homophobia and racism. I'm doing this because writing purposefully bad is just as hard as writing well and seriously. I'm also writing as a fake goth (as it is theorized Tara Gillespie was), so meet Storm Wolfsbane, Hot Topic BloodRose, and enjoy "XTREMLY SCRAY". Love, Amber.

AN: hi my nam is Storm Wolfsbane and i'm a super goth and this izz my fanfik, MCR ROXXXXXXXXXXX. 666!111 if ur a prepz or a posrrz then fuk uuuuu!1 Buffy yur my like a gf to me but not in a wired way! i luvvv u! Thanx (geddit, cuz i;m goffik).

666!11111111111111111111111111111111

My nme is Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but most pple cal me Hot Topic BloodRose. My fuking Muggle parentz mst hav had a hedache when they namdd me bacause my real mane is Trixie Brittany Lindsey Prepzi, whic is a fukin Muggle poserprep name. When I waz 4 Volxemort trid to killl my parentz but evn tho he didnt kill them they commmitteed suiside by silting their ristz becaze they were deprzzed about it. So i went in2 fosr care wif a ubnch of posers namd Billy and Mae Poseran who put me undr the stars and beet mee becas i needed a tragique bakstryy. My step-unle Barry used to tak Paris-Hilto-p-videos of me and masticated to them! "chomp chomp chomp" he wold go al night lawng. When I was 11 an awl send me a lttttr fro a magicall skewl named HawgWartz. But Barry tuk the letttr and masticated with thm so i cldnt go to the schl. Also Barry rapped me sometimez. When i was 12 (im 17) i rann away frm homie and change my nam from Trixie Brittany Lindsey Prepzi to is Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, or just Hot Topic. Or Shadow. Or SixSixSixeline. Or Draco. Or Vampelvira. Or Hottie Topic. Whatevah i fell lik i cal mysqelf. Also i'm a vampire and now i go to HogWarts where I am in Slytherin in the sventh year ('m 16). I dreamd of beeing Draco Malfoy's gf and listing to him singg 'Da Chroniqules of Lyyfe and Deeeth' and havening every1 clap as we mace out. I got on the HawGWartz exxxxpresss at Plaaatform 6and34. I was wearin a shrit that said "SimpleKnot" (which is a cmbbination of my 2 favrite goffik bands) on the front and "66" on the bak. I was wearing a fishnet skiirt that was sooo Kawaii and a fishnet corset stuff. I was wearing fishnet cmbatt boots and my hair was died ebony (that's how i got my name) with grun (geddit like Grun Day) and pink (geddit like p!nk) streeks. My fingrrnaiz we're painded blak wiz Satanist sings and pitchers of Gerard Way.

AN: How do u lic eet? Thanx u for beeing kawaii, bichez!


	2. Chaptree 2

Chaptree 2

Legit AN: I can tell where my ANs end and the story begins because that's where the sea of red squiggles begins! You know, I was legitimately disappointed at the end of the real Harry Potter that he didn't marry Lisa Simpson – Hey, JKR did promise us that! What is said on The Simpsons is law! You can't break a Simpsons promise! Enjoy "Chaptree" 2. Love, Amber (such a preppy name, Amber.)

AN: Prepz, fooooooooook uff (geddit, Foooooooooook uff?) Fangiez to the govvix who dinnt flumm the stry. Buffy ur my lyf Hilllary Duf suxxx the fukin bich!

I ent in2 a coffin on the HogWarts express especially for the goffix. I layed down in the coffin listening to God Chraloooe. My MCR bruum rested besides me.

"U luck kawaii, bich," a gooffiic boy said. It was… Draco Malfoy, the fuking sexbawmb! He was warring A blak residnet evillll t-shit and a blak croset thingy and fishnet stockings and a red skirt tha t sayd "hell-o bich" on it lik the 1 Amy Leigh wore in my dream.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK u!" i yelled at him besides i have angry issues.

"Hey," he whispred "is that MCR?"

"NO IT's GC YOU FUKING BICH!" I screamed (geddit, caz i'm goffik) "WHY DON'T YOU KNOW THAT? ARE YOU A POSR? AL TRU GOFFIX KNOW ALL THE WERDZ TO AL MCR, GC, SLIPKNOT, SIMPLE PLAN, SISTERS OF MERCY, EVANESCENCE, GERARD WAY, MARILYN MASON, AND AMY LEE SONGS AT BIRTH! OTHERWZE UR A PRP OR POSER!"

"i;m so sawry!" He cried al sezitively becauz he was totally bi.

"I guess ur nawt a preps," i relented sensitively becauz i was totally bi, except i dont like grills cuz thats gross!

"I'm Fraco Malfoy," he cried sensitively.

"I is Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but u can call me Hot Topic, or Samara the Prep Slayer (bufy rox! But not buffy the vampire slayer just bufy the vampire slayer.)"

"Whaz ur favorite muviez?" He asked al bisexually.

"I lik VannHelzing, Men Grills, Nitemare b4 Xmaz, The Ring, the Ring 2, the Ring 3, Saw 1, Saw 2, Saw 3, Saw 5 BUT NOT SAW 4, The Omen, The Omen 2: Electric Boogaloo, Scary Movie 4, Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, Das Nigtmare b4 Xmas, and The Ring 4."

"I like deprezzing moviez 2, like the Days of Wine and Roses and Titanic. They make me wanna silt my ristz." He said mobridlly.

"I also like Count Cocula with blud instead of mlik, the color blak, and putting up my midle finger," I relied.

"I do to," He repplid. "Do you want to hav sexx wif me?"

"Sure Darko." We started screwing in the coffin. I smelled at Draco while getting an organism. "Oo! Oo! I feel lk Emily the Strong!"

All of a suddenly…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS?!" It was…Dumblydork! Wifout a hedache!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Bring life 2 me

Legit AN: I think I'm overdoing the misspellings… I'm starting to think I should correct some of it. It hurts my eyes as much as it hurts yours, but it's so damn funny.

AN: Dumblydork has a constantz hedache so he can curse as much as he wants to. Aslo Hot Topic and Darko didn't know eachother b4 so that waz so awkwad. Also, Prepz stop flossing okay! I heat you Buffy!

Dumblydork left. Draco and I continuued skrewing. Draco tuned on MCR's I just wanne like.

All of another suddenly… Herminine walked through the coffin door! It was…Herminine! She'd fund out his parunts wer'ent Mugglies they we're glampires who slit their wists wen thuy saw (geddit lik Saw 1) Volsemrot. They'd rapped her and soo did her foser famly. She channed he nam to Vespa Painflower because of the pain in her hreat.

"Hi Hot Topic!" It was…Vespa Painflower! "I can c ur skrewwing Draco. I'm sooo jellyouse and so are all the slythernine grills and boyz bcause all the Slytherine boys are bi but none of the girls were relly bi."

"I'm am wonderful. Vespa u look lik a foking Pentagram betwnnn Gerard Way and Kawaiiness." Draco was singing aloonog to the Slipknot sog while we skrwwwed.

Vespa was wearing a blak dress that said "i hat the colour pink" on the booooooobs and butt (y myte thin shes a slut butt she's ain't.) Her hair was blondd with red, orngie, yeller, grun, bull, pornple, brown, blondd, pink, whit, and blak streaks in it. Her shoes we're blak combat books that said "I hat pink" and "fuk u" in pink letters. She was wearing makeup sho white she looked lyke a snowman. She had a pentagram in eyeliner on her face.

Sundayly… "What the hell are you doing, you motherfukers!" It was… Dumblydore again! Still with no hedache!


	4. Chapter 4

Chertre 4:

Legit AN: I'm really sad I can't find the original Tara goths vs. preps quiz, so I came up with what I thought it probably was. Love, Amber. Also, I feel kinda embarrassed in that I actually didn't need to look up the Underworld stuff – I did see the first movie, and you know what? It's not half bad! I don't hate it! Oh no. I like something that Tara likes! Noooo I'm a prep I can't be a goth nooooo!(1111)

AN: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF Prepz! Here's a quiz if u are wroorried u migt be a prepz:

1: Du u lik MCR? Du u no ervery word to all of ther songs?

2: Do y thin Gerard Way is a secksbomb  
2a: If ur a dude, r u bi?

3: Do u wanna silt ur wrists?

4: Du you think society basically sux?

5: Du yu want to contempt suizzzise?

6: Is ur farvrite numbre 666?

If you answered yes to EVERY questin, ur a rel goff hooray!111111. If u said no to ANY questin, ur a prep ur a psoer so, see abov.

Dumblydork left agan. Draco and I stupped screwing and put on our cloths.

I was warring a blak drezz wif a blak corset stuff wif blak chainz and the words "death" and "666" in it in blak. My face was entrilly blak wif eielyner and blak lipstyke. (I was'nt triing to be rassist u homophones! I ca'nt hate anything blak!) The dress had a huge slut up the side.

Draco had a shit that siad "im a major fukin hottie" in blak writting on a blak blakground and baggy genes that were aslo blak.

Rawn Wesley walled in. He wazz weering a Simple Plan kimono (hes haff Japaneze so he specks Japanese so do i) and TONS of blak eyliner. When Rawn was 7 hsi parnts committeed suiside by silting there wists and thenn they rapped him. He never new his real parentz. Also his last nam is now Slipknot isnead of Wesley. We calll him Seleno like Selene form the Underwold movis now.

"OMFG u guz lets have a groop cutting session!" Seleno yelled.

I was wearing a blak shirt that said "Count Chocula" on it. (AN: I wish I had that in reel lyfe!) and blak comat boots. I saw almot thin enuff too be anne-orexique but that's an isnult to pple wif REEL eeting disawrers! I was wearing eyelyner that mayde me luck lik a pentagram bwttweeen Gerard and Joel.

Sudeenly the train stawpeed. We werre at an Goffic castle…Hagworts! All of a sudden…"What the hell are you doing you motherfukers!" It was…Dumblydore! With less of a hedache than the frist 2 tymez!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Legit AN: I cut and paste Hot Topic's insanely long name. Also, stop flassing – that's flossing for preps. Love, Amber.

AN: Fangzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz to the goffix of da workd who dinnt flam the styro. Fangs! If ur a poseer then fuk u! I wood say go wawtch the Exercise but thaat wood make u MOR of a poser! So fuk off!

We wakked into the Grate Hall. There was pink pant underneath al the blak pant in the enteer hall. Al the Slytherins were drinking blood from Hufflepuffs and the Gryfindoors were al prepz. There apparentally we're no Ravenclause. The sawrting hat was own a goffic stool in the centre of da hal. Al the frist yeers walled upp to the hat and 1 at a tim they put on the hat and the hat said there house then. I turned on a Linkoln Pac CD song. The led signer's sexxy voze fulled the hal. I was wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt, a Marilyn Mason miniskirt, and a Marlon Mason pair of tigghts. You cold see my cleevage and my but. Siddenly…the sroting hat triumelephantly said "Next…Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose!" I walked up 2 the sorting haat. I putt it on ma head.

"Hmm…Griffindoor!"

"WHAT! SORTING HAT ARE YOU A PREP!" Also we call the Sorting Hat Hades now. His parents did when he was 3 and his fawster parrots were pedofiles becauz they worked in amerikan skools. He stil has nigtmares (geddit, like the Nigtmare b4 XMAS) about IT.

"I'm kiding!" Hades said. {Slytherin!}

All the preps of Griffindoor frowned but every1 else clapped because I looked so sexxy.

Suddenly a tal man wif a looong blak bread and a blak robe that said "Avril Lavigne" on the back steped out and said "go to ur conmen rooms! Volxemort is in the building!"

Al the Griffindoors started to scream but erveryone else calpped because I looked so sexxy.


	6. Chapter 6

Chaptre 6

Legit AN: Enter preppiness stage left! Let the pink glitter rain down from the skies! Love, Princess Amber of Rainbow Town.

AN: Fangs Buffy (boldyteerz66) for hlep wif da spleen! U rok and wer gonna sexx oop Gerard so hrad!1111111111111111111111

I want up to my conmen room. In al 4 conmen rooms they were playing a moovie to keep peeple form looking 4 Vollemort. In Slytherin they were paling DEEpreZZing movies like Corpse Bread and Tin Burton's offer movies. In Griffindoor they were playing moviezz with Hillary Fuking Duff or a Backstreat Boys movie. The Hufflepuffs were watching a bawring movie or something, and the Ravenclause were watchin somethin 2. I dinnt car.

A goffic man walked up too me. We started making out. He was wering blak ootfit with alot of blak corset stiff wif reel vampree blood stayns. He said 'I hat Hillary Fukin Duff.' I almot got an orgaaasime. "Whu r u?"

"Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but u can call me Hawt Tawpic or Shadoow or Raa'ven or Goffika or Elfira or Deethshade or Drakona or Closet or Fish'net or Exorcist or Samantha or Glampirica or Eielyner or BuyGuz or Demetria or Sandanista or Misty or Mikey or Joel or Gerard or Sahdow or Kawaii or Slythernn or SixSixFive or D'eady or Shadoow or Deatstuchsin or Shadeow or Heptagram or Draculaicta or Storm. WHO R U?!11111111111"

"I;m Harry Potter but u can cal me Pluto, like the gosh of the Undreworld (geddit, like Underworld). He sayd sexxily."

"Y?" I skaed.

"BECAUSE I LOVE THE TASTE OF HUMAN BLOOD!1111111111" HE SCREAMMED.

We Frenched Passively.

"Hello Trixie!" said a femail voice fro outsid.

WHY DID U XALL ME TRIXIE! I SCEAMED! THAT'S A PREP NAM! MY NAME IS Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but u can call me Hawt Tawpic or Shadoow or Raa'ven or Goffika or Elfira or Deethshade or Drakona or Closet or Fish'net or Exorcist or Samantha or Glampirica or Eielyner or BuyGuz or Demetria or Sandanista or Misty or Mikey or Joel or Gerard or Sahdow or Kawaii or Slythernn or SixSixFive or D'eady or Shadoow or Deatstuchsin or Shadeow or Heptagram or Draculaicta or Storm!1111111111111"

"Ewwww, that's a Goffic naymie." A girl with an ugly blonde face walkkeed in3 the Slytherine Comment room. She was wearing a pink shirt that said "Heert Hillary Duff" and "I think ur weird on it" in gilttery leters. "I'm going to call u tRIXIE. My name is Cecilia Joy Pink. That's a good, preppy namee."

I put up my moddle finger at her.

"I LOV Hillary Duff. Y dont u?" Sje whyned in a blonde voise.

"She's a fuking prep lik u!11111" I creamed!111

"What makes her a prep? She wears pink and doesn't want to commit suicide or slit her wrists?" Cecilia said.

"YES!11 EXACTLY!11111111" I murmured.

"What about the Backstreet Boys? They don't ever sing about death or anything. What are they?"

"THEY! R! PREPZ!111111111111111111111111" I whispered.

"I hate u for beeing who u r," Celicia screemed. "Ur so pal and wired." Ceicicia ran away criing.

"I hate that fukin bich" I told Plato, Darko, Vespa, and Seleno.

"She shood die." Vesper whimpered energetically.

"Le'ts have an0ther groop cotting sezzion!" Selene creamed.

"YAY!" We all muttred.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: I'm not Helena.

Legit AN: I'm sad to report there is no real life counterpart to Buffy – this is a one man effort. But the internet is here to laugh at My Immortal and Exremly Scray with me. Enjoy, love, Amber.

AN: Fangz Buffy but no Fangz to the fukin preps who love to floss! Sop Flossing ok! If u flaml ur a preep. Usuk. Fuk urslef.

Seleno, Drako, Pluto, Vespa and I were mawshiing to I'm nut ok by GC in our Goffik metal bnad C-R-O-S-S (cuz they're's no way im writtin that even tho i witted it b4) The membrees of the band were Draco, Plato, Vespa, Seleno, and Daisy (AN Buffy this is u!) and Harrid. HAHRID is now goffic and in Slytherin and a fan of Goffik verizons of songs by 50 Cent, a Goffik hero. Also Hargris is pedo, like the ppl or amekian schuls.

We were moshing to our cover off Helena. Sudanly the heed of Cylendarin Dumblydore came in.

"You guys i have something to tell u!" There is a knew Slytherin sudent!

A boy with a blak shrit that said "Hooray 4 mcr" on it and TONS of blak eyeliner and it was blak. His jeans were blak and baggy. Even thou he was werring blak i could tell he wasnt a stanist.

"Hello, I'm Hunter. Do you guys like MCR?"

"WHAT ARE U DOING TAKKING ABOUT MCR?" I asked him. "YOU MUST B A POSR!111111111"

"I like to think I'm a goth," Hunter asked Hot Topic.

"DO U WANNA COMTEMIT SICILIDE? DO U ONLY WEER BLAK?1111" I cried angellically

"No, I feel I have a lot to live for. I just like the gothic music and fashion. And sometimes I wear other colors, like blue and red." Hunter tried to shake my hand.

"ABRACADABRA!" I screamed and Hunter starred to cri.

"U trid to ki1 mee!" Then the ran away criyng like the poser he iz.

We parktised for another hour. Then Dumblydore ran in.

"Everyone we need to tal. Draco has been found in his rum. He committeed suzzide by cuting his ristz."

"but hes ok rit?" Vespa smilled.

"Of cose. Therez no continueity." Dumblydore strated to leve the rom.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Legit AN: I need more Dumblydore.

AN: Fangzie 2 Buffy 4 hleep. Ur so kawaii bitch u an e shoold goo shopphing 4 MCR posers and bnad ts. Ptrps stup flaming da stry!

I run out off the room creeing. Evveeryone calped Bcause i looked soooo sexxy. I was wearing a blak t wit red 6666s in reel vampire bloode. And a blak minil, blak fishneets, blak combatted bots, and TONS of blak eilyner. Daisy flowed me 2 ma room but she sholdent follew me in2 ma room becase she woold lool like a pedo.

I strated 2 cook a steak to klil maself. I was aboot to stikk it intoo my heert when Daisy woke up nect to me. She opeeneed here frost green is. She was wearing blak eyline that was soooo thik I was almost runnin down her face. I was running sooooo fast. She was aslo weering a blak bland tee and a blak COrsET and an blak fishnet skit. Her hairy was died blak wif gren streeks and came don to here waste. Her streaks said MCR in team.

"I love MRC," Daisy whimpreed entergetically.

"I want to wath a drpreesing movi. What do u wane tp wat?" I mooned.

"Howsaboot Cropse Breed, Hoot Topic? Its ma secound farvrite Time Bruton movi, besids P-Wii's Bag Avventure." Daisy was so fukin hot.

"I wish that MCR deed the soundtark to Corpse Brid." "Thaat wood be soo cold." I was wearing reed fishnets, a blak minis, an apron that had MCR lyricz that 4 some rezon Amy Lee from Eveneszence 1ce wor, and a shrit that said "class fuking dismissed" on it.

Daisy put on the movee. And Dobby was watching with us!111111

All of a sudenly…Draco walked into the rom! We took of eachothers cloths sexxily. He took of my blak leather bar. We put on and MCR sign and strated to make out. He put his boy's thingie in mine (I gues we both hav them?) and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.

Sudenly…I fell a sleep.

I dreamed a dream. In it, a blak guy (agent, not rasist – I luv al blak thingies.) was shoting a goffic girl. "No, please dont fuking kill me!" I scremed in the dream.

But what was scray was who the girl in the drem was…it was…Me, Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose!


	9. Chapter 9

Chaptre 9: BUFFY U SUCK!

Legit AN: Yeah, you really blew it Buffy. Also, George Way and all further permutations are all supposed to be Gerard Way, the one name Tara pretty consistently spelled correctly.

AN: BUFFY U WER SUPOSED TO WRIT DIS!111111111Z111 Fuk u! Fangs to das Goffik Pepples 4 da God Revis.

Vespa walked besides me. "did y here that Daisy that fukin prep got explained? She skepped math. Once."

"Yeah, I hop shell (geddit, hell) die. Like in Das NightMARE b4 Xmas."

"Lik hu in Das NightMARE b4 Xmas, Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana **_STORM!_** BloodRose?" Vespa Flipped (geddit, that's a shoot-out to u, Filly) her waiste lenhgt hair wif it's pruplee streeks that went don 2 her waste. She was wearing a blak t-shirt that said "Buffy U SUCK!" on it in red lettres. Her mini-skirt dead (geddit, I lik death) "Simple Plan" on the butt bcaus I guess she dint like SP bescause she keeps sitting on there logo. She was wering blak combattt boottts and blak fishnet.

"Lik that guy who explodd in2 all those bugs, maybe, IDK." I smelled happily. Something smelled lik blood.

"Ohm, I forgotted to mentin. When Daisy gott expelled I murdreed her and Loopin did it wif her because he's now a character and a nekfillyac (Filly, another tribute tu u.) And Dobby was watching!

I was wearing a blak t-shir with a pitcher of Marilon Manson mruderin Daisy on it in blak lettrees. It was mad of a filthnet corset. My miniskreet said "I hate Buffy" in blood red letters with pictrues of Billy Joe and Jole and Gerald killing Daisy and singin the Chornicles of Leaf and Death (geddit, cause I like death) and my stockins were fishnets. The fishnet said "U suk fuk u Buffy!" on them in red letters.

Pluto came in and we streeted skrewing. Sudenly…Snap cam in wif whips and a video camera! And Luuping was masticating to it! *chomp chomp chomp*

AN: Buffy u stil suk gimme blak (geddit, I like blak) my poser of George Way! He's so fukin seky! Aslo, du o no where my sweeter I?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapitre 10

AN: BUFFY U Cuntinue 2 suk! Gimme a posttree of Gerry Way. Noww! Fangs to les goffiques for los buenos revues.

Snap was fling (geddit, lik Morty McFli?) aroond on his bromstik when al of a Sudan Seleno, Vespa, Bluto, Draco, HAHRID, and Jessica, hu is now Penty (as in Pentagram) ran im. Penty was was wearing a blak t wif a pitrtue of me making oot wif Jeremy Way. Her entrée bod was covered (Geddit, like our cover of Helena?) in corset fishnets.) She looked lik a pentagon of Joel and Bliiy Jeo.

"I;mo noto okayo!" She screened at Snap then he turn into a blak blla of flam (ha ha, u revurees falms, geddit?) and it was vlak. He drooped the Camry and it was broke. Lopine pickled it up and said "I want to masticate agent!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Dumbeldork cried. "FedoFiles! We mus be in an Amrikan skquewl!11111111111111" (geddit, lik Amrikan Eegle, that preepy store.)

Loopin ran away. So sid Dublindore. The Volermont came. He was wering blak bub he cleerlu wasn't goffic. I took out my gun and shooted Snap and Volxeemort a gazillion times. Voldemort gave me a gun. I turned it in2 a blak pentagram.

Suddenly Voledomrt flee down wit a lucy-dovy look in his Is and roared "HotTopicILoveYouWillYouHalfSexxWifME?"

"Hot Topic, I loke you will you hakf xes wif me?" Draco asked and we took uf etchotheres clothers and we HAD SEX (yes, htat does soud like a Marine Sue.)


	11. Chapter 11

Chaptel 11

Legit AN: I love these clothing descriptions. Especially the preppy ones with anti-goth phrases in pink letters. And all the clothes with pictures on them.

AN: STUFFLAMIN! Buffy Im sroty I tuck yr potr (geddit, like Pluto Potr) of Jerome Way. Preps, Hot Toopic isnot a Marius Sue oj?

Daisy walled up to the walk and streated to snoke pot. She was sooooo sexy. She was so tin lik an anorekik. She was werin a blak dress wif a foto of Buffy and I beein freinds agean. (Buffy I'm so sroy!) I wanted to fuk her but I'm a grill and so is Daisy so that wood bree wired.

Suddenly that fuken bitca (Buffy rox! Espercially u Buffy!) Ccelinia cam in. She had teh cifeo carmera weif tha filem of Pultone and I havind sexx. She was wering NOTING blak! She was waring a pink minidre wif a picture of Hilarious Duf saying "I hate Goffix!" on it in a big gren speech buble. She was wering no fishnet of corsets.

"Hi Hoot Topic!" Celianicia screemed when she was me. I put up my millie finger at her.

"U look like Avril Lavigne in this ligt!" I got reel anger and I started to suk. Oh, wait, her blood.

"Stop it you horny simpleton!" Cecil shreamed. I stoped. Cesilian strated to cri and strented steaming.

"U suc Cecili!" I yelled at her as she ran away to the poe table of Grifondore. She and the autres preps talled aboot preppy bnads lik these StreetBack Boyz and NYSNC and Hiliri Duff Beer and Arlee Simpspoon. They had nams like Ashlie and Crysteel and Cristina and Lauren (lik that fukend bichon Lauren Henry whu I hop DIES by bee ing stroock by lignitning if u met her u wool think da sam!)

I talked to Valeria, Daisy, Seleno, Draco, and Plato about how we all waned to klii oarselves and how we woul not feel sad if any1 actuall sucesfully committeed suixide. The Hufflypufflies were talking about ho they wanted to have there bliid suked by a vampire, and the Ravencawls existed, I soppose.

Sudenly a poseric old man walled thorough the door. He was follwed by a poser man and a poser woman. It was…Volseamort! And Crabe and Gockle were wif him!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapre 12

Legit AN: I tried to throw in as many HP characters as I could think of that Tara didn't use below. Also, I know Billy Joel is not at all associated with Green Day and their front man is Billie Joe Armstrong, but at one point late in the fic Tara makes this mistake, and I will never let her live it down.

AN: Stup that flamigning ! Sutp ben prps! If ur a prep, then donut readit, u prep!

"Ho Topic Shado Raven Goffina Elvira Dethshade Dragna Cosette Fis'net Exorcist Samaa Vapirica Eye-liner B-Guuyzz Demetria Stanista Misey Mikey Joel Jason Shaow Hawaii Slytherna SixFiveSix D'eadly Sadow Deths/tucch/sin Shdow P"e'n't"a"g'r'a'm' Dracolana Buffy BloodRose!" Goylee yelled. He took uf all his clothese. So dd Vloseemont and Bracke. They looked lik they we're about to rap me and dracola! Suden Drakon took awf al his colthes 2 and he and Volremoz begat to srew!

"Pluto Poser, you motherfuker!" I cringed.

"Hey, I'm over hear," Plutonium moaned. Then he took off an his clothes and he joyned Drago and Vloxemolt! So did Golem and Crakcle and they al orasimed.

Sudenly I tucked off my blak corset bar and Draco put his thingie into my u-no-whut and we did it! Seleno and Vespa and Daisy and Penty al tok of their clothies and they all strated to half sex 2.

Suddenkey a propy man and his poser wife came. The man was weating a white shrit wif no wrods on it and blue genes. The woman was wering a pink dress wit a matching huge hat/. It was Billy and Mae Poseran, my foser parents. They came. Dumbeldore, Snap, Looping, Harid, Profesree Mildred MyGoggles, Propesere Squirel (the guy wit the dumb hat from the 1st mauvie), Docrot Dorothy Underbridge, Roy Loket (the dumb guy from the 2nd mauvie), Cedrique (that was sedric ok?), The fat guy who killed Cedaric, Seriously, Lucas Mallory, and the Sorting Hat cummed in. But we cal them respectively Way (like Jackie Way), Mikay (lik Mikey way), Billy Joel (like the leed signear of Grunday), Diabolo Tie, Diaboletta, ImoNotoOkayo, Samalene (lik Sakara and Sleene), GoodChraloote, Dethstuccsin, Darth Valet, SiltWristz, Goffical, and Undreewold now becas theyr'e all goffic and in Siletherein.

"What the hell are you doing you motherfukers?!" It was…Dumbeldore, Snap, Looping, Harid, Profesree Mildred MyGoggles, Propesere Squirel (the guy wit the dumb hat from the 1st mauvie), Docrot Dorothy Underbridge, Roy Loket (the dumb guy from the 2nd mauvie), Cedrique (that was sedric ok?), The fat guy who killed Cedaric, Seriously, Lucas Mallory, and the Sorting Hat cummed in. But we cal them respectively Way (like Jamie Way), Mikay (lik Mikey way), Billy Joel (like the leed signear of Grunday), Diabolo Tie, Diaboletta, ImoNotoOkayo, Samalene (lik Sakara and Sleene), GoodChraloote, Dethstuccsin, Darth Valet, SiltWristz, Goffical, and Undreewold now becas theyr'e all goffic and in Siletherein!1111111111111


	13. Chapter 13

Legit AN: Stupid, stupid, stupid Hot Topic. Guys, I'm running out of misspellings I haven't used… Damn you Tara, you goddess of misspelling. Damn you straight to heaven.

AN: Fuk uf. That is al.

I putt my colethese bak awn and streeted to cri beers of blood. I was wearing a blak ripped t su (geddit, lik Missy Sue which Hot Tonic is?) u cold c ma belly and boobs. It seeded "Marry me Jimmy Way" on it in bold red letters. I was warring a hot pink siniskirt with "I hate pink" written on it wif pink lettears. (AN: Oh wait I gorfot to say thank u Buffy u rawk!) I was so wearing red fhisnet boots.

Everyone else poot on the're clotsh. Every1 was wearing a blood red dress wif a picture of me having sexx wif Draco and Dobby was watching.

Dumbelodor took al of us into a blak room. He was weaeing the blak Avril Lavigne robe with Avril Lavigne in pink letters on it. He took me to a Penisive. Professres Tervolty was there, but we callie her Profresse Sinatra because she loves Frank Sinatra's music. She was wearing a black mini dress that sayd "Class fuking dismised" on it in bloody leaders.

"You see, Storm," sid Sinatra "o mist go blak (geddit, caus I lik blak) in Tim to hlep Volxemolt not becum eliv!"

"Wil i hav to du it wif him?" I whined.

"No, but u prolly will anyway (geddit, Way like Johnny Way)."

"Good luck Storm!" Everyone said suisidally.

Then i sew a poster with blloody goffic written on it. It seed "Tallent Contest Tomorro 7,30"

"Sorry Guys" {Geddit, cuz bi-guys ar so hawt} "I have to comet in the competitin."

"Ur gonnie win u Maril Su!1111111111"

AN: Hor Topic ani't a Marnie Suw so sup calling her 1 and fuk uff u preps!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Legit AN: This is where XS deviates furthest from My Immortal – this is more a parody of the similar scene in "Forbiden Fruit the Tempation of Edward Cullen." I also don't mean anything racist in my putting Hot Topic in black foundation – I intend to spoof her obsession with black cosmetics as well as the casual racism of My Immortal's Chapter 25 (but that black guy was my favorite character by far – shooting two of the goffic Mary Sues of canon characters and then driving away in his Flintstone Car.)

AN: BUFFY u suk again! Go 2 hlep! Oh, wait, sawry I'll guve you blak (geddit) ur poster of Mikey and Joel. They are fuking setbombs!

I sat on the front of the stag of the talent contest wearing blak eyeline, blak mascara, blak eye-shadow, blak lipstick, blak, nailpolish, blak blush, blak fondation, a blak corset fishnet minidress wif a blak Bengy and Jolie on it that was all riped so you coul c ma belly and not Benny and Jol. I was wearing a blak fishnet stoc king on my armies and legs and I was wearing blak combat boats.

Vespa Painfollower was performing as ong called 'I love u, u Mary Sue' and it was about me. She was wearing a blak dress that went down to her blak combat boots that said "I hate NSYNC" on the butt and it was covered in layce. She ended the song by yellowing "I love Hot Topiary Shadow Ra've Goffic Elfen Deathshadow Draco Cor'set Fis;hnet Exercise Samara Vamprca Eyelner Bi-Guys Demetria Stanism Miser Mikey Joel Jonah Hadow Kawai'i Slytherin SixS'ixSix D'ead Shadow Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose!" Everyone crapped when she finished.

Daisy got up next {BUFFY YOU FUKING SU- oh wait we're friends again} and she was wearing blak bag jeans with pictures of GreenDay as thtey appeared in "the Simpsons Movie" that dpreszzing movie. You could see her blak lacy underwars. She did a stand-up rootine about her farvrite goffic movies like Monsters Ink and Twiglit.

Pluto cummed up next. He sang a gothic song about how much he enjoiees HAVING SEX with me. He sounde lik a P-E-N-T-A-G-R-A-M (there's no way I'm writing that) betweem Mikey, Joel, Joanne Way, Kurt Coattail form Nivrana, and a girl version of Horace Way. I got an erection except Im a girl.

Then Draco came. He sang a Goffic version of a song by 50 Cents and Hargrid cheered. I wasnted to sex him right there on da stage. Then he walked up to me and I took uf ma blak leather bra (which was so comfortable), he tuk of his clothes, and he put his boys thingie into my boys thingie and we HAD SEX!

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" McGonagall said in characterally. She was wearing a brown pointy hat and a looong green rob. "Next performer is…Hop Topic BloodRose! I gasped. I got on stage and sang a goffic verizon of "We dinah't street the fire" by Green Day's lead snigger Billy Joel. I changed the lyreics so they weren't so sappy and preppy.

Then Cecilia and Hunter came on and they sand a preppy Brilleny Speaks song. They did a srupid dance rottin and every1 thoroughed they were awesoke. I put up my middle finger them. Cecianna screamed.

McGonagall that prep (even though we call her Diaboletta bacalls she's gotic) said "we hav a whiner…Heat Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffia Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'net Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Sataista Misery Mikey Joe Harold Shdow Kawaii Slytherina SiSixSix D'eay Shdow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Drculana Storm BloodRose!

I gasped. I put my middler finger up at Hunner ad Cevilia. Cecicia gasped. Hundred gasped. They we such a prep and a poser respectically!

Draco kissed me again on stag and we did it again to a Linkon Prick song. I gasped.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapret 15

Legit AN: It saddens me to think I'm only about one third of the length of the real My Immortal right now… dear Lord that thing was looooong. And – I didn't really remember the details of Harry Potter like this – but I wanna say Voldemort and Dumbledore (also I just want to call him Dumblydore forever) went to "Hogquartz" in the 40's – I picked the fifties since it was so far removed from anything remotely goffic, but I'm not far off.

AN: STUP UR SRUOPID FLAMAGING! Ur al preps! Al of u! U suk so hrad! Ps, don't u think gay guys are so hot? They donut think I am.

I gasped. Drago and I ent in2 his rom and we had mor sex. Then I hered my fridayends call me so I had to go bcak to my room. Pluto came in. He was wearing some bnad t-shift, but I coujldnt tel waht bad it was because I tok it uf and he looked off my bra. Then we strated screwing on a red coffin.

Suddenly Prof Sinatra rummaged through the blak door. "Ebony I have to show you my visins!" She was wearing a blak giant MCR t-sheet that she used as panamas. She was also wearing a Panama hat.

Pullto and I putted on our coles. Plato was wearing a blak long-sleved t-shirt with a blak heart with the words "Vampire" on it in bloody gothic writing. He was wearing blak skater paints and Minivans. I was wearing a blood red pentagram shaped dress. With blak Vans.

She took us into a blak room. It had posters of MCR and GC even tho it was a classrom. There was a giant Penisive in da middle of da empty class!

"Hot Tipoc u huve to go to das past to stup Voliemote form becoming evil!" She pushed Plinko and I into the Persive. "Good luck, cont!" She cried. I feel through the floor. So did Planto.

When I wok up, I was in the Fiftes. Pluto and I war standing outsids Hogquartz. It was all goffic as usil. A goffic bi sexy man was seating on a goffic blak bench wearing a GC shirt (i know there not fifties but portend they are becase they did that one song Da Wolf in Blak dat soundered really fifteens) and pink pants underneath the blak pants and baggy blak combat boots.

It was…Tom Jefferson!


	16. Chapter 16

Chaptel 16

Legit AN: Tom FelNOT is the Tom Felton impersonator that Tara fell in love with.

AN: U stupid preps! Ur prolly lik sevelti yellolds! Like ma sorty! Lik Hoi Tipik! Love Me, Storm Woflsbane!

I walked up to Tom and took of my bra. He was so sexoy I wanted to have u-no-whut wthi him rigt then. So did Pluto I cold totully c him getting an urectation.

"I'm Tom FelNOT, but you can call me Darkness, because I;m going to be the dark lord."

"I'm HoTopic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but you can cla me Honda Topic BoldRose. I love da colour blak and bandz lik My Comical Romance, GC, Slitknot, Marlene Mason, and Simpile Plan."

"What are those?" Darknees cried all bisexually.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO MCR R?" I wanted to suck. Oh, wait, I do. And I mean suck his blood.

"No! It's 1957!" Darlenss was so bi.

"UR a Preep!" I wanted to do him so mooch. I could see he wanted to sex me bisexually.

"What's a Prep?"

"What iz ur farvrite goffic band?" I took uf his shift and he tok off my bree.

"Well, I like Bill Haley and the Comets-"

"THOSE PREPS!" Darkness put his boy's thingi in2 my girl's thingie and we wer in 4 dos rid of ur live.

"Oh Storm! STORM!" Dar'kness scermed as he got an orahsim. Plundo took out Loopin's video tape camera and started to filme us (I had seed it was ok earlier.)

Suddenly I saw a goffic man with a long blak bread and a fuchsia robe wif the names of preps in swirly leatres on the back like NYSNC and these Blackstreet Boys and Aselle Simon and Hollary Foken Duff and Cristen Arguleera. He was cleerly a perfect prep. It was Dumblydork! He said… (Wait for it! Wait for it!)… What the hell are you doing you motherfukers!


	17. Chapter 17

Chaptear (geddit, I cry tears of bold) 17

Legit AN: It gets a smidge slashy in the middle for a second – I figure Tara also wrote slash fics on various "gothic" bands. Rory Locket is Gilderoy Lockheart.

AN: My Styrofoam is amazing, wit it's prefect spleening! Ur jelouze. U suk. Go fuk ursleeves to a Britaknee Speers Concreet!

I was wearing a balk MCR TV with poofy sleves and a poofy skiet with the names of ma forvorite goffic movies written awn it in blood reed lettres: Der Ring, Uoderwold, The Room, Shrak Attak 2, Shraknando, Form Josten 2 Kelly, Mason: Das Hands o Fate, Siperman 4, The Grabbags Kids Moavie, Mommie Deerest, Showgrills, and the HottIE and the Nottie. I was also wering blak eyeliner, blak blakness, blak eyeshadow, blak marscarea (geddit, cuz I like to scare ppl), blak eyeliner, blak nali Polish, blak lipstic, and TONS of blak eyeliner. Pluto was wearing a blak T shaft, with a picture of me on i and i said "I'm a liddle Mary Sue, short and stout" in goffic letters. He was wearing prepy pink pants – kidding!11111111111111111111111111111111111 He was wearing goffic pants (and shoes.) No slef-frespecitng goff wold wear pnik. Darkness was waering a blak corset with GC and Silpknot making out on it al bizesiually. His pants said "Hot Topic all over them". He was so seoy, as am I.

We walled into JogWarts. Proffessor Loopin was sitting on a desk teaching portions masticating to a video of me fully dressed. Everyone clapped bescauste I looked too sexy. "Chomp Chomp Chomp" Loopin said as he looked my way (Geddit, Way like Hanson Way). In the corner of the rom was a goffic metal band. Darkness wailed over to them. The otter members of da band were… The Fat Guy ho killed Cerdric, Seriouly, Rory Locket, Dorothea Funbridge, Spane, Locius Malorn, Jimmy Potter, and…Billy and Mae Poseran! They were wearing goffic clothes! I didnt cow they uzed to goffic!

"I pal the dorms," Daekness cried sisidealy. "Wiretail plays the gutter." Wirmtail was hitting an overturned gutter with drumsticks and it made a metal sound when he hit it. "Serise plaies the gortair. Roy Lolap plays the kieboard. Doreen RoseBrige plasts the bose. Spain plays the 2nd gitter. Lucius Malfy plays da Harmonica. Jim Pottree plays da banjo. Billy and Mae play goffic (geddit, cus the uzeted to b goffic) percussion. Billy had a balak xylophone and Mae had blak moroaccas. But we hav no led snigger!" Darkness sniggered.

"Yo have 10 ppl in ur bnad and noone sings?" I whined.

"Yeah!" Darkens roared.

"I can sing! QAll Mary Sues can sing lik angles!" I looked at him sensitively.

"Yeah!" Darknes roared.

I sung Das Bolevrad of Borken Dremz by Gerne dayz. Evelyone tought i was a porphet because dat song hasn't been written yet in 1956. In facet non of Grn dy was eveen botrn yeet.

"OMFS Hot tonic u hac to snig at our concrete!"

I gasped.


	18. Chapter 18

Charter 18: MCR ROX!

Legit AN: Oooh, the stupid cameo chapter! And I'm actually getting followers, yay! Never expected that. I'm writing this cause I'm bored. Thank you. Love, Amber.

AN: Fangs 2 Buffy 4 al da glep. If u wanna reite a sorty I'l glep u! Prepsie stop flamagnnigne! If us flak it me sur a persp!

I wondered how I cold get frowad in Tim and mise the concert. Suddenly a goffic man in a goffic red windbreaker and goffic jeans with goffic red spiky hair juped in font of me. It was… Philip J. Fri! He had replaced his preppy white shirt with a blak shirt dat seed "Im so goffic as opposed 2 ma preppy canon self."

"I can hlep u go forwierd in tim!" He pulled oot a blak cryogenics chambree. I got in it. "Good luck Storm!" Pluto came running after form isnide da buliging, bacase he was in da futur 2. We steerted making out in the cryogenics chambear. Suddenly we wer in da persent. Vesper Painfollower came. She was weering a blak mimidress dad said "and arch y" on it.

"OMFG Hotopic! Ur so sexy and if I was bi like every boi I wold so fuk u!" Vespa flipped her weast lemght hair.

Draco, Seleno, Daisy, and Penty came. Dey we're wearing Slipnot shits!

Den i relized I had to sing at da goffic band's concent in das fifties. The six orf us al gawt in2 da cryogenics chamber and sudenly we were blak in Tim! Philip McFri was dere and he locked confused.

"Were'nt u just here?"

"Dat's da mysteres of goin blak and foth in Tim, Philipe!" I looked al secy.

We ran 2 the palace where Vloemort's band Bloody Cliché Rose 6,666 was playing. Theu were plauing "We're so goffic, geddit, cus we're goffic," by Tara Gilesbie. Volemont was waring a blak t-shilt with a pichere of Satan (lol, he loves satan) and blak skatree paintings. Patrick Pertigrew was wering a blak bnad T shrit dat said (C-R-O-S-S) "geddit, dat's my bnad" on it and ribbed bay jeans. Sirius was wering a blak bagy shirt and blak baby skater pants. The walls were panted blak. Locian Mafoy was wearing a blak T shirt dat said "I'm bi and so is ebony" on it cuz he was bi. Jam Pottery was waring a blak t-shirt dat said "Hi Hot Topic I'm Pluto's dad" om it "geddit, he's Plato's dad" and blak pants. Dorothy Umbridge was wearing a blak dress dat was riped so she could c all her cleavage. Rory Locklehearth was waring a blak corset dress with a picture of Amy Lieght on it. Spane was waerig a blak t with Marceline Manson, CG, MCR, Evernizenze, Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre, and Marilyn Manson on it. Billy was wearing blak clothes dat sed "I used to be goffic!" on it. I couldn't believe it. Billy Poseran used to be goffic! Mae Poseran was waeing a blak dress dat said "I used to be goffic too!" I couldn't believe it. She used to be goffic!

I was wearing a blak dress that was so ripped it barely covered anythin. Seleno was wearing a blak Captain Chocula corset and blak pants. Draco was wearing nothing because he waneted to skerew me. Daisy was wearing a blak dress that said "death (geddit, cause I like death) to posers" on it in real vampirr blood (mine). Hermione was wearing a blak dress dat said blak on it in blak letters. Plato was wearing a blak MCR corset and dress. Philip J Fri didn't have tim to change clothes so he was still wareing da red windbreaker, blak shrit and baggy jeans.

Nest…Bloody Cliché Rose 6,666!

I gasped.


	19. Chapter 19

Chaptre 19

Legit AN: 22 characters. 6 cannons. 4 OCs. 1 band. No rules. This is actually getting kinda awesome! I wanna say "Da world is blak" is actually by Good Charlotte. Well, what the hell (geddit, lik hell). Luke Skiiswalker is a cross country skier, by the way. And yes, I dared to put Luke Skywalker in drag. What, I can't have some canon-screwing fun too? Cecianne and Hoper are Cecilia and Hunter, who I need to use more of. Love, Amber.

AN: Fuken preps! Ur proppyness is wreekin da world (geddit, lik da world is blak by MCR). Fangs agent Buffy, Justin, u would b da luv of ma deprzzing lif but u cleerly donot exist.

I got on stag. So did Selano, Pleeto, Vespan, Daisy. Dracone, Penry, Phollip j fri, Morty McFli, Luke Skiiswalker, Homeair Simpson, and Ewdard Collin (c i put in sume usless cameos 4 u Buffy!). Dey we're all goffic now to skrew wif 5 more canons.

I was wearing a blak dress wif a pictre of me killing prps like Cicianne and Hoper. Dey were crying tears of clood. Draco was slitting his wists and his band t said "I love blood". He was wearing balck pants dat said "shjt up preps!" in reap vampire blood! So was Plunto and Serena. Daisy was wearing a blak dress that had a piecture of blak nail polish awning it. Vepa was wearing a blak dress with so many rips she was basilcally wearing notting but a blak lacy corseat bar and blak lacy underoos. Penty was wearing a blak bra and a blak poofy skirt. Voldemort was wearing a blak dress and high heels that we could hear clack. Pete Petegrew was wearing a black corset MCR shirt and ripped pants. Seriously was ewaring a poster of Marilyn Manso as clothes. Lucille Malfoy was waering a blak suit wit ripped Convresse shoes. Everyolne was wearing TONS of blak eyeliner and white fondation (geddit, like Sirius and Lucuis were fond) and blak eyeshado and blak lipestick and labk nale police. Dorothy Rubbish was wearing a blak mini and aporn dat said "bich, fuk, shjt, fok" and odder swear words. She looked just lik Any Lee. Wait a second. I look lik Amy Lie! Rolly Lokcheart was wearing a bisextual shift dat saod "goffic ness rules!" Snake was earing a black converse shirt with a picture of a converse shoo on it. James Potter was wearing a blak t shjt with a blood pentagram torning in2 a blak guitar turning intwo Draco on it and blak pnats. Billy and Mea weare weareing blak ts wif a picture of black skater pants and blak skater pants with pictures of blak ts on dem. Philipp G Fried was wearing a blak lawng selved shir whit a picture of a picture of GC on them and a MCR broom as pants. Morti McFlying was waewring a blak bnad t with a pictur of a band dat dint exist in 1957, when we were. Luke Skiwaller was wearing a blak minidress wit a pickture of a blak guy shooting 2 goffic mes. Homer Simon was wearing blak sweeters lik da one Buffy gave me bak and rupped jeans. Edward Culling was wearing a blak shirt and a blak pear of pants dat said "everything is blak" (geddit, cause none of these people are wearing anything not blak).

There were 22 people on stage, and everyone was singing "Das Cornicles of Lif & Dead" by GC. I was da sexiest of dem al. Evert1 clapped cause I was so sezy. And Dobby was watching! I cold c Drako gettin' and ercrution. Everyone clapped because da song endeed, but realy it was pecause I was so sexy.

I gasped. And Dobby was watching me gasp.

Legit AN: an ercrution sounds painful. Sounds like something getting crushed. Also, Bloody Cliché Rose 6,666 wanted one lead singer, they got twelve (not to mention they all started singing.


	20. Chapter 20

Chaper 20

Legit AN: You know, I'm kinda torn on the goffic names I came up with. Some of them are actually quite awesome (as dumb as she is, Ebony "Enoby" Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is pretty cool a name), like Hot Topic BloodRose, Vespa Painflower (Vespa means wasp in Latin, and the frequent misspell Vesper is a Bond Girl), Seleno and Pentagram Slipknot, and Sorting "Hades Underworld" Hat. But then there's some I can't quite take seriously. Even though Pluto (Harry Potter) is the god of the Roman underworld, it's pretty darn hard to take a guy seriously as goffic when his name is Mickey Mouse's dog. Plato makes me think of Sal Mineo's character in _Rebel Without a Cause_ (angsty yes, goffic no; there is a difference), and of course, Plinko - the least goffic of all things. And wow, I'm at chapter 20, approaching nine thousand words! I'm officially crazy. I'm gonna go silt ma wrists (which is putting mud on them). Love, Amber.

AN: Stop it preps! I'm gonna slit ma wristz because everytime I've sed dat b4 i havent flolowed thru.

I tuk a bow. So did Draco, Cilantro, Penta, Velma, Plinko Potter, Veldamort, Siros, Lucien Park (geddit, lik Lincoln Parc), Doren Umberg, Rose Lockheart, Spane, Jales Potter, Perry Pettirgerw, Billy, Mae, and all the stupid cameos took a bow.

Soddenly Pillip Fro jumped ot from behind a wall. "Hot Topic! Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose! U hav to go blak to da present! Dumbeldork neds u!"

Everyone jumped in Philip J Fri's blak tim machine (a cryogenics tube.) Sudenly we were in the present!

Dumblydore ran up to us. He was wearing a pink Avril Lavigne robe. "Hot Tolic the fuken Prep Hillary Doff is leading a prep offensive against the goffic HogWartz! Ceciala Joi Picnic has joined her, NSCYN, these Backstreet Boys, Ashell (geddit, hell) Simpson, Cristin Arguliera, and Britney Spears are all joining too! You must stop her.

Lundy Lovegold jumped ot from behind a tree. She fond out she wasn't a moggle at al but a vampire witch! She had been raped and beaten and all those oder things dat happlen to Marnie Sues when theu need tragic backstyros. We call her Shelly (geddit, lik hell) now.

Shelly screamed with her blak lipstike. We all saw…Hilarry foken Duff! She was wearing a pink rob with a picture of Hilalry Fuking Duff on it! Cecilia and Horner were with her 2. Huntor was wearing a blue poser shirt. Cecilia was wearing apink dress that haad no wordsz on it. All of us screamed but everyone else clapped because I looked so sexy. Hilary Foken Duff shotted a spell at us and began destroying da goffic archetecture. Everyone screamed sexcept me and Draco we took off echothers colethes and started to skrew. When they wre dunn screming everyone clapped baecause of ho sexoy we were while having sex during an attack.

Legit AN: During this chapter, I got a message from word: something along the lines of "there are too many spelling mistakes to show anymore." What a glorious accomplishment for this piece of garbage!


	21. Chapter 21

Chaptel 21

Legit AN: I think we're on the last leg of the "Styrofoam" here. I'm thinking the Hillary Fuking Duff arc will be the last, unless any more inspiration falls my way. Thank you, who ever got this far. Lauren Henry by the way has no real life counterpart and is intended to be a stand in for the "Ellie Mayfair" mentioned in "Forbidden Fruit – the Tempation of Edward Cullen." And for the record I do not hate any of depressing books, just Cecilia does. Except Mockingjay. I can't stand those goddamn Hunger Games (I'm sorry, I know that's not a popular opinion.)

AN: U fokenperps! I'm gonna go flam ur stry! U suk 1111111111111111 Fang u (geedit, lik fang u 4 da vemon) Buddy!

Sudenly a gofic blak racecar drove by. It was blak and da seats were blak and it was blak. Suddenly we saw the driver… it was…Loopin Romulus! He was riding on his broomstic! (in da car) And Loopin was masticating to it!

I stupped screwin draco. He was so sexoy (that's the term for sexy soy) and so was I. No one is hawter dan Ebony Dark'ness Demen- I mean, Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose. That's my name.

Darkness, who was Voldemort, looked lik he wanted 2 secrew me an i waned to skreq him yoo. He TOOK OUT A CIGATEETE AND StARTED to smoke pot.

Shelly screamed again. The BackStrut boys were attackijg Honwarts! They we're playing there music intoo da school (geddit, skull, cause I like death) and turning all the goffs and the apparently existant punks into preps and posers! Cecilia and Hunter were lauhing wit joy (geddit, Lecicila's middle nam is Jyo?) and tehy were talking about poser things like the musik of Elton John and Cole Porter with the other preps and making fun at us goffs. The boys were we'aring white polos form Hawlister and Abercornbee and Filch. The gills were earing pink and blue dresses that said "u stupid goffs, u suk." All the Slyfernins were transfeared (geddit, cause I lik fear) to Griffindorr.

I on da otter hnad weas wearing a blak t wit baggy blak scatter bants dat seeded "fuk u Cecilia and especially u Lauren Henry!" (AN: I hope she DIES! She suks so hrad.)

Shelly screamed again. Vespa said "I want to slit my wristes. Du o waynna cum slit ur rists?" She looked so out oof cannon.

Everyone slit theor wristes and we all read derprzzing books: Les Misblerablahs, Blak Buety (geddit, I lik blak), Old Yellow, Bridge 2 Tabitia, a bunch of Newburry Medal winners, Where da red Fern grows, Twinelight, Warren Peace, da Outsidsers, Hamleet, Titus Andoreecus, Mokingjai, Jude de Obsquire, anything by Henry James, and My Immortal. We all talked in silence while more Swiferines turned into Grifinders.


	22. Chapter 22

Chaqupter 22

Legit AN: I saw the 1970 movie "Love Story" the other day, which starts with the female protagonist calling the male love intrest a "prep" (in the traditional sense) every time she addressed him – ya know, like Tara. It basically ruined my experience watching that film, cause I just kept thinking of My Immortal. Shame, it's a pretty good movie.

AN: I think I'm gonna end da fic bcase all yall keep flossing! Stop flossing every1!

I stormed (geddit, my nam is Storm) into the empty hall. I coudlm't believe it! Cecilia was in da middle of da empty hall, turning a goff into a prep. The poor Slytherin girll was nameed DaRing, cause she loved the ring. Her real name was Georgia, but she hatted that because Georgia is a preppy state. She was wearing a blak MCR minii skirt with a picture of Jasper Way. Cecilia tuked out her wind and casted a splee. Suddenly everything DaRing was earing turned into a pink mini and a Hollisted Pogo shirt. Her white foundation turned into lip gloss and DaRing started to scream. A Base Street Boyz song was pliying! DaRing changed her nam bback to Georgia and she screamd I'm a prep. All the reel goffs screamed two.

I walked over to Cecila. "What the fuking hell Celicia?1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111" I cried tears of B'loody Mary.

"Hilary Duff is taking over the skewl. And dere's nothing u can du abot it!" She laughedd evilly and preppily.

"YYY fukwn vitch!" I whined.

"You c Hot Topic I've tryd to raise awareness in you goffs that preps and posers are people too. Just because we do not want to end our lives does not make us any below you. We see no problems with MCR or GC, we just want to play our BSB without persecution. Therefore Hunter, the Preppy bands and I have decided there is no other option than to declare war on the abusive goffic culture." Cecilia said crying not tears of blood.

"Ur stile a fuken batch!" I punched her. Cecilia ran away. Shelly screaked again. Ceiliia was cumming back! She grabbed Penty and casted anoder spell!

"Hair of blonde and lip gloss smell, I save this poor goff from hell!" Penty screamed in pain. All the blacknees on her ootfit turned to pinkness, and all the MCR pictures turned into pictures of Mileene Cirus. She suddenly bagen to smile. She seemed hapy to bew a prep! That citch!1111111111111111111111111111 She said to me ad the other goffs "I am no longer Pentagram Slipknot, I am Ginny Weasly! My parents didn't commit suicide, they are actually the nicest parents in the entire canon! I belong in Gryffindor and I am a prep (in Tara terms)!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111"

I couldn't believe it. Penty was a prep!1111111111 Seleno started to cry all bisexually cause Penty was his sitter. I promised Seleno I would make his sister goffic again. Then he took of his shirt and I took off my blak lacy leather cra. We did it and Dobby was watching and everyone crapped cause we looked so sexy together.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapiter 23: Buffy do us know where my sweater I?

Legit AN: It jus occurred to me that Hot Topic accomplished nothing in the fifties. Not like she accomplishes anything anywhere, but that trip to 1955/56/57 seemed like a total waste.

AN: Buffy rules, do u know where my sewerter is? If you have it, bring it black because if u don't then Daisy will turn into a prep, you know!

Daisy started to run away to get her wand. She wanted to cast a spell to save Penty and end Cecilia and Hunter's reign of terrible.

Hunter jumped out from behind a wall. He took out his wand and grabbed all the preexisting cameos from the fifties concert and shooted a spell at them to restor them to their respective canons! Luke Skywalker got out of drag and wore normal space clotes. Homer Simpson put on the white shirt and bleu pants and said dough. Marty McFly wore his life preserver and not a goffic blak bnad t anymore. Edward Cullen basically staied the sam but this tim hie was sligtly less goffic. Philip J. Fry put on his not very goffic red windbreaker white shirt and jeans and stole the cryogenics chabet from us, sinc it was rigtfully his. I started to cry as they all ran blak (geddit, I lik balk) to their respective canins: Marty back to da Eighties (geddit, lie GC had that one song that sonded relay 80s), Edward to Forks (gedditr, eating forks can be goffic, I guess,) Homer to Sprigfled, Luke to the glaxi far fra way, and Philip to the futur.

We were don to just the Harry Pawter charctres and the OCs, Daisy, Billy, Mae and I. I started to cry tears of blood. I don ot want to b a prep! Preps are lam! I put on goffic neon blak headphones and blasted my Likin Parc. I was wearing a blak minidress that said "Penty come back! Ur not Jennifer Wesley!" and on da back it said "Please!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111".

Suddenly Seleni had an idea. "I have and idea!" He yelled. Draco, Vampire, Seleno, Daisy, Vespa, Shelly and I all took uf our clothes and we all started 2 screw, because the only thing we know how 2 do is to have sex. Meanwhile Dumblledore, Voldemort, Perry PerryGrew, Minnie McGoggle, James Potter, Lucius Malggoy, Dorothy Umbridge, Da Sorting Hat, Hargrid, Sirious, Snap, Loopin, Gilda Lockhrat, Billy and Mae all started to play cards while they waited 4 us to finish having sexx.

When we finished skrewing we all put our clotes bach on: Black minidresses with pictures of me, Hor Toric CloodRose, being sexy on it.

I screamed at every1. "You guyz (geddit, bi guyz are so hawt) we need to stop the prep invasine!"

"We can't," Pluto said sexily. I wanted to screw him iven tho I just died (geddit, i like death). "There's not enough of us!"

I looked around at the 22 of us. We were all so sexy (except for Billy and Mae, who beet me when I ws dear foster chilled.)

"I can help, u Evony Marie Sues!" An goffic girl wiht purple streaks in her long ebony black hair (that's how she got her name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches her mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears. She looked lik Amy Lee (just like me!). She was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. She was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. It was … EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Helen.

Legit AN: Ha ha! You didn't see that coming, did ya!

AN: Stup flaming preps! Did Cerciane turn everyone in da wold preppi?

"I can cast a spell that turns non goffs into goffs!" Enoby screamed. Suddenly a poser girl weraring a blue dress walkeed by. Her name was Daphne, and she had a well ajusted childe hood.

"Mi cremically romachio, Imo noto okayo!" Suddenly Daphne turhed goffic! "my name is Helena now because I now like GC!" Everyone cheered. Ebony started to fuk Draco because they do that in their srupid canon. Enoyb tauht us her anti prep spell and we all ran around Hogsmende shotting it at preps and turning them goffs, except for te adults hu were still playing cards. Suddenly I ran intwo Jenny Westly. She was wearing a pink dress with poofly sleeps and pink non-fishnet tights. I shotted a goffic spell (geddit, cause I cain't spell) but she wouldn't turn black goffic!

I saw what was behind her… it was… NSYNC! They were shooting Jenni with a preppy spell preppily! The five preppy spells outweighted my one goffic onne. She stayed preppy.

I shot an even strawnger goffic spell and suddnely my wand turned into a goffic blak gunn and it shot Jenny! She died!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111  
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111" Selene cried. He ran over to his sister that I killed. "Ur a monster Hot Topic!" Suddenly he turned his wang on himself. I thought he waz gonna slit his wrsts but he said the preppy spell!11111 He ganged his name back to Ron Wussly!111 He wore preppy clothes and went bac 2 Gryfender.

Sudennly a goffic black band came even thu all da membrees were whit. It was… MCR!111111111111111 Gerar lloooked soo sexy. I trook off my bra when I saw him.

"Hot Ropic I will screw you fater I play this song." He played Da World Is Black by Good Charlotte. Suddenly because of MCR's musiz Penty came back to life (geddit, like the chronicles of life and death (geddit cause she was no longer dead)) and bcam goffic again! We kissed (remember, I'm bi?) I ran to tell Slenpo but it was too kate…Z…He was still preppy! I shotted goffic spells but tey al missled. I started to cry, so to cheer me up Draco and I had more sexx.

Ebony walked by. She said she had summonde MCR and their music could bring bac to life (geddit, like bring me 2 lfie) anyone whi was truely goffic in dere souls. Ebony sand a GC song that cold sumon goffic pointless cameos, and suddnely a bunch off goffs ran into da room. It was…Morty McFi, Edward Culls, Holmer Simpon, Leuke SkyWiki, Philip J Fries, SprongeBob Squirepaints, Leslie Knotes, ET, Batman, Elsa da Sonw Quen, Micki Mouse, Katriss Ebonddeen, Tonie Stark, Banie da Purple Dinosar, Snow White, Willy Wonca, Ebonyzer Scrooge, Jean Valjawn, The guy from Da Maze Runner, Froto Baggs, Liz Lemon, and Alsan the Lion from Nranuia. They were all goffic. All the goffic bands cummed too, lik GC, Evanezence, Lincoln Packer, Marlon Mason, Green Dai, Simpile Plan and Slikpnot!

There were 8 bnads and 45 other people in the war against preppiness. It was on.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Legit AN: Oh dear Lord twenty five chapters. And for those of you keeping track there are now characters from 23 canons: Harry Potter, Twilight, Back to the Future, The Simpsons, Star Wars, Futurama, SpongeBob, Parks and Rec, ET, Batman, Frozen, Mickey Mouse, Hunger Games, Iron Man, Barney (who I suppose has a canon), Snow White, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, A Christmas Carol (again, I suppose a canon), "Les Misblerablahs", The Maze Runner (Thomas, I think?) LOTR, 30 Rock, & Narnia. I apologize for you fans of any of the above. Also, buy the Xtremly Scray brand corset underwear. As uncomfortable as it sounds or your money back!

AN: I hat u pres but Buffy Rocxs!

I was wearing a black dress dat said "U can c ma belly" cause it was ripped and u could ce ma belly. I was also wearing white fondatin, blak yeyshadow, blak eyeliner, blak lipsick, blak nail plolish, the works. Draco was wearing a GC T (geddit, cause they were there fighting wit us). Plato Potter was wearing a red shirt that said "My black shirt is dirty." Niether of then were wearing pants cause they were bia and wanted to skrew eacother. Penny, who was aliv agan aind no longer a prep, was wearing a black moni and a blak lacy bra. Vespa was wearing black corset bras and underwears. Daisy wsas wearing a black bra and matching underwear made out of eyeliner and lipstick. Seleno was wearing a white shirt that was once black cause he was now a prep and green pants. Dumbledore was wearing his iconique April Lanigne Robe. Voldermort was wearing paints and a shirt that said "Im arparently not the bad guy anymore." Peter Pottergrew was wearing a blak log sleeped shirt and matching pants. Sirius Blak was wearing leather pants and no shit. Snape and Loopin wrere wearing shirts that showed them in da middle of da empty hall, doin' it, and Dobby was watching. So did theri bants. Gildoy Hart was wearing a black corset with black panties. Doriss Umbergne was wearing a tight blak minidress with a picture of Storm Wolfsband, the sexoyest womin aliv. Millicent McGoogle was wearing a black robe. Sorting Hat was wearing nothing cause hies' a hat. Billy Poseran was wearing a black skater pant and a black t that has a picture of Loopin's blak racecar on it. Mae Poseran was wearing a black dress wit nothing on it. Just a plain blak dres. Lukiss Malfoy and James Potter were wearing matching black outfits that said their names on them. Ebony Dark'nees Demetria TARA was way wearing a ripped black mini with a lacy matching bra and fishnets. She was wearing so much blak eyeliner all the boys wanted 2 hack sex with her. Helena, who was Daphne, wass wearing a balkc mini that said "I used to b a preppy, my name was Dapnhe, but now I, goffic and I am Helene." MCR was wearing blakc bnad ts witb pictures of GC on them. Good Chraloote was wearing blac bnad ts with puctures of MCR on them. Marlene Mason was wearing an outfit madse of black lipstike Thea same one whe was wearing no his fack. Amy Leeeeeeeee and Everneverenze were wearing black ripped minis rhat siasd "We support Tarra and My Imorta." Green Dayz, Simlee Plan, and Slipkonwt were all wearing black eyelinere and ootfites that said "geddit?" all over them. MortiMcFli was wearing a goffic shirt and pants that siad "Back to the Future? What's that? I'm Goffic now." Edmund Cullen was weraring a black dress that came it high heels like Volemorts. Homer Simpson was wearing a black band t ad black paints (geddit, like there was pink pant undder needth the balck pants). Luke Skkwelker was wearirng a black corset shirt with pants with a manly stubble on them. Philip J Fri was using the bathroom while we all got changeed, so hi dint get da meemo that we were changing in2 new goffic clothers, so he was wearing his usuall preppy red windbreaker white shirt and blue jeans. SpongeBob was now blak instead of yello, and his tie was also blak. Leslie Notes weas tearing a black leather dress with a picture of Buffy and I beein greinds again (this was left offer from whern we stopped fighting). ET was wearing a black giant MCR Tshirt that he wore as panjamans. Batman was wearing a blak Batmobile costume with at picture of Ebony passing the torch of Mary Sue Ness down to mee. Elsa wear wasing a long black bread dress. Micky was wearing a blak tie and a blak t that said "Geddit, die instead of tie, cuss im goffi". Katdress Ebondy was wearubg a black dress with a picture of MCR punching Cecilia. Tony Strak (geddit, lik Strak attak 2) was wearing a goffic Iron Man suit with MCR lyreics on it. Barney was now black and had a blak gun that Voldemort gave him to shoot preps. Snow White was wearing a goffic black Poofy Dress and matching miniskit. Willi Wokna was wearing a goffic black top hat with feathers and a blak versin of what he usually werars. Ebonizer Screws (geddit, I like to Screw Draco, Pluto, Slenpo and all the other boiz) west wearing a long black dress that was all riped and u could c his cleavage (Only he was a boy so he didn't have one, u sicko!1111). John Valjean was wererairng a black baggy skate pantss wand a black shirt that siad "Orly!" on it with a picture of Orly Airport in Paris. The Maze Runer guy left cause I forgot what his nam was and what her did and whatever. Frollo Baggins was wearing a long black minidress. Liz Lemon was werarign a goffic blak Amy Let Shirt ans goffic glasses. Aslan was wearing a blak t that said "Goffs role!" on it. Cecili was wearing a pin shirt that said "Im a fuken prep fuk me!" and a long green skirt. Hunter was wearing a blue shirt and blue jeans. Not at all goffic. Hilayr Fuken Duff was weraing as hotpin dress with pictures of happy preps on it. So Did NSYNC. The Backstreet boys weare wearwrong jeans and multicolored t shirts.

I gasped.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapte 26

Legit AN: Sorry, Mr. Way, for calling you Gertrude. For the record, while I don't listen to any of their stuff, I have nothing against any of these goffic bands.

AN: I'm gong 2 Transelvana 4 a week so don evspect updays! Bfy u rule thanx for the sweatire.

The sky was pink cuz the preps had takn over Hogwants. I cried tears of blood (it happens in My Immortal Buffy told me so okk?). Sudenl Selene walmed out holding a preppy wand.

"Selento! What the fuking hell? Yur stil bi aren' u?"

"Nope. Don't think so, Trixie."

"DON'T U DAR CALL ME TRIXIE! IT's HOT TOPIC BLLOODROSE! Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose."

I showed him a picture of Gertrude Way even though he was standing right behide me. "He is a foken sex bomb and I kno u want to hav sexxy with him!"

"Nope. You see, Trixie, my canon self is straight, so I see no reason to be bi here." Rain was all pink and blue an red and gren and yllow and all those oddter non goffic colors.

Bloody Cliché Rose 6666 began to play with GCMCR and all the other goffic bands. All the goffs killed in the attack were brought bac to life, like Vespa, Daisy, Homer Simpstone, Petter Petigrew, ET, Iron Man, and Liz Lemon hwo had all been killed while I was abandoning them 2 talk to Ron. But they were okay.

I shot the goffic spell at Ron and her turned back into Selleno Slipjot. I ran around to other preps and turned them into goffs. Sudenly I ran into a preppy girl with blon hair and lipgloose that made hter look al traditinally beautiful. I hate that. Her dress was pink with flowers on it. It was… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … Cecilia Joy Pink! She was sitting on her broomstick.

"Now, for all the torment you've afflicted on me, Draco is going to become a prep! She took ot a preppy pink gun. Because they have guns in da Potter verse.

She shot Helena with a preppy bullet. She died and then her body baecame all preppy and she came bcka to life. "Helena is dead!" Hellena cried. "I am Daphne now and forever." Then she ran behind Hunter and Cecilia.

NO! I cried. "Cecilia, can I have one last requst? I want to screw Draco one last time before I become a prep. I could see he wanted to screw me." He looked all sexy, but nawt as secy as me.

"Fine. Very well." Cecilia flew away. Drado took of his pants and I took ooff my shirt. I took of my black lacy underrwer and Draco took of his black lacy underwear. I thought of that time I lost my virility to Draco on the Hogwearts Accpress when he put his wetness in2 my u no whut. While we did it Cecilia flew around turning every unnamed goffin (geddit lik coffin) the skull (geddit lik skull). Billy and Mae turned back into preps cause they always reely were. Dumbledore turned into a poser with Hunters re-canonizing spell and so did Voldermort and Peter Pettigrew. The cowardly cameos all turned back into their canons and ran back to their canons. Cecilia turned Snap, Loopin, James Pawter, Lucas Mafy, Dorothy RunningBridge, Serious, and Rory Locket back into their cannon sleeves while I got an organza.

Suddenly Pluto ran up behind us. "You bastrad! I want to slurp with ther!" "No I do!" Draco moaned. They got up and… … … … … … … … … … … … … … …They jumped on eachother (yes in that way!) They started skrewing on the pavement outsides HoughWarts in da middle of a battle we were losing. Normally this wood have tured me on (I love cing guys do it even when they want privacy), but rigt now I wanted to skrew both of them.

I put on muy clothes all energetically and lethargically. I was wearing a red mini with red lace that said "I love the colur black" on it. Sudeenly, Cecilia flew up to me! She said "Hot Topic your time is up! I will kill Pluto and Draco!" She shotted a bullet.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!1111111111111" I cried all sezily as I jumped in front of the ballet. I could tell Draco and Pluto wanted to screw me but that wool make them necphilacks (another shout out 2 u Filly!)


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Legit AN: Thanks for the "god reviow" BlazingFlames22! _WARNING: Screwing on pavement is not recommended for children under 16 and the elderly (please not the elderly). Talk to your doctor if you are nursing, pregnant, or do not wish to become pregnant, as screwing on pavement is a great way to get pregnant. Avoid screwing on pavement during summer and/or in direct sunlight, as the pavement is often too hot to even stand on, much less screw on. If you feel the urge to screw on the pavement, first consider other places to screw, such as anywhere but the pavement. Ask your doctor if screwing on the pavement is right for you. By reading this AN you waive the right to sue Amber, Lullaby of Broadway, and Fanfiction dot Net in case of injury or embarrassment should you screw on pavement._

I woke up in limbo-world. All the colors we're squirreling around me, eventhough I hate all da colors beside black. Ballets cann hurt me because they're too pink, so I was dead. I was so happy 2 B dead. Life sucx so hrad. But I realized I coldn't have sex with Draco, Pluto, Selelo, Daisy, Voldemort, or Geragd Wai in Limbo. So I had to gett bac to da World of da Living. I thought of all the thnigs I would neveer c agan: Snape and Looping doin' it in da empty hall, Voldemort disgiuzzing himsled as Gererd Way with his Death Deelers, Hedwig beeing human and a boy and making out wit Voldemort, or skipping Hair of Magical Magic Creatures.

Suddenly I saw soneone cumming. It was… … … … … … … … …Draco!

"Hi Hot topoc I just committed suixide by sliting ma wrists and I just died. I'm in Longdon too!" We took offff or clothes and had Limbo sex because it turns ot we could have limbo sex.

Sudenly domeone else cummed too. It was … Pluto Potter! He had slit his writsts 2. We were aboot to have a Lombo three way when we heard some goffic music playing. It was MCR! Gerald was waying (geddit, like Gerard Way) his song Helena (which convinced me not to cummit suisid) and we were cumming back to life lik Penty did!

Suddenly we were al alice again. "Yay!" (geddit, yay like Gerard Way) we all yelled. "Lets have a group cutting session!" Vespa yelled and we all slit out wrists to celebrate Draco Pluto and I cumming back to life after oor slit wrists.

Suddenly Secsilia cumme. She had a preppy pink wand and a preppy pink dress. Dumbledore was with here! He was wearing a preppu pink robe.

I was wearing black eyeliner made of black lipstick, black lipstic mad of blak eyeliner, blak nailpolish, and a black corszet made of balck nail pilosh. I was also wearing a black lacy bra and a blak pair of painties.

"Hot Topic i thougt u were deed!" She cried. "But still you're losing da battle of preps vs. goffs!"

Then Hunter came. He was wearing a hunter green shirt (geddit, that's how he got his name) and brun pants. "Hot Topic, why caint yo be nike to da srudents?"

"Why cantu be less of a poser?!1111111" Suddenly I had an idee for making Hunter more goffic. I took off my black leather shirt with lace and black lace leather MCT miniskirt. I waited 4 him 2 take uff his clothes. He didn't.

"Hot Topic I don't want to screw you," Hunter said in a deadpan voice. "For the love of God put your clothes back on." It hurt ma fealings cause I wanted to screw him. I want to screw every boy I meet.

Suddenly a poser man ran our from behind a tree. He was so old (basically like Dumbledore in the movie) and prolly had kancer and alzhimers that was dangerous. (AN: Society basically sux, donnit?) It was…Dumblydore. He shotted a sell: "Abra Kadabra!" Voldemort died.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Legit AN: Guys, is this a troll fic? Apparently it's a fic simply done intentionally poorly, but I thought to count as a troll fic it had to be done with malice and the intent to deceive readers into thinking it was done properly. Of course I use these author's notes to clarify I'm not intending malice, and to prove I can, in fact, spell words. Is there any difference though? I know there are people who can't stand troll fics, even ones done as parody like this, so I've been a little more obtrusive in this than I probably should be (for the record, I'm not keen on the idea of true fanfics – as a produced playwright I would honestly be quite offended if someone changed the characters I worked so hard on to fuel a relationship that makes no sense or having my characters interact with characters from other fandoms. No one knows these characters like J. K. Rowling. Parody, when done well, I feel can always be justified. I think of Xtremly Scray as a parody.)

AN: I'm bak from Transelvania. I met Dracula dere! I wanted to screw him because I want to screw every vampire.

SECOND PERSON POV LOL (Legit AN: No, no, no Hot Topic leave the good reader alone. Hot Topic! Hot Topic! Don't make us wear goffic clothes! Nooooo!)

You wached Voldemort crumple to the grund. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" said every1 involved. Even Billie n May were crying and dey were posers! Everyon forgawt Voldemor was the villeen in canin.

You were wearing a goffic blak miniskirt nd blak band ts dat Good Charlotte had given me. You were wearing fishnet eyeliner and eyeliner fishnet. You were wearing black lipstick and blak nail polish with singing satanists on them. You were goffic.

DRAKOS PONT OFF VIEW LOL!

I wanted to screw Hot Topic so much. Even dough I alreedy skrewed her 11 times since i meeted her, I want to screw her agian. I was sosexy I could c Hot Topin getting an erection except she's a girl, so she dint get une, ur sooch a sicki! Suddenly I realized what I wanted to do. I took off my black mcr t shirt that said Hot Topic on it mostly cecause it was from da stor Hot Topic. She took off her lacy dress that was covered in vampire blood. I took off her corset bra and lacy black underpaints (Legit AN: Primer?). She took off my black bagy scater pants and plack boxers and we did it four the twelfth time. I pt ma thingie in2 her u no wheat and she looked so secy. I wanted to screw her even tough I was aleraedy screwing her. Her pail body was now all warm and she got an organza.

HOT TOPIC"S POINT OF VIEW LOL!

I was enjoying the organza when Billy Poseran ran up to me. So did Mae.

"Hot Topic we need to talk!" Billy moaned. "We never told u hu ur reel pareents ar! We never told u were not husband and wife but brother & sister. We slept in sepreete beds but u nevear noticed cuss u were always under da stars. We told u to come inside but u didn want to eat beets. You we're alweeze werried dat Uncle Barry would rap u. He's not a very good rapper."

"We alwayz told u dat u were a prueblood. But that is a lie!" Mae moaned. Ur reel mother is Billy, Barry, and my brother Randi! Ur mawther's name is Lizzie. They dyed in a car crash. Their hair was blue when tey gawt hom! Anyway theu're muggles and ur a moodblood!

I gasped. I cried. I slit my wrists.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Legit AN: I said eight chapters ago that I would be on the last leg of the story. Well, it's taking forever, sorry. Love, Amber.

AN: U posers are sooch preps! U shoulder die!

I read My Immortal will i wasted 4 da blood (geddit, I like Count Chocula wih blood) to dry. The rest of the goffic ppl were watching Alice in Wunderland but dey cuntn't find the Tim Brutun one so tey were watching the animated on from nineten fiftyun.

I cou;dn't believe I was a mudblood!11111 Also Voldemort was still dead.

Das preps were painting everything pink and odder colors dat wer'nt blak. EVERYTHING SHOOD B blak.

"I see a red door and I want to pant it blak!" I cried. MCR came and dey summoned all the remaining goffis in Hogweerts as well as da dumb cameos and da goffic bands. Ebony Way lead us trough Hogwards with our panitbrushes painitng everything black. Suddenly Hilary fuking Duff ran up to us!

"I hate all goffs cus dere'not preps!"

I punched her sexily. Wait she wasn't sexy I was.

We ran past her. We painted mor stoof black. Then we all took a nap because it was night time and we were tired.

In da mornin, which I hate, I looked down at myself amd screamed. When I went to sleep I was wearing blak eeliner, blak lipstick, white foundation, red lipsitck, blakc nail polish, A black minidress with a thousand red pictures of Joel Madden, fishnet tights, a red corset, and gray compact boots. My Ebony hair fell down 2 ma waste with red and pornple streaks.

When I woke up, my hair was blonde with pink streaks!11 I was wearing pink eyeshadow, pink lipstick, normal tan foundation (yes I am trin to be rasist dis tim!), blue nail police, and a pink corset less long dress with blue flowers on it. I had no fishnet tights at all!111 I was… A prep!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

I looked around. Everyone was wearing prepy clothies! Everyone was a prep! It made me said, but I couldn't slit my wrists even if I tried because the prepyness affected ma brian so I wasn't depressed anymore!

I looked up. It was… Hilary Duff, Cecilia and Hunter! They were preps and posers!

"Ha ha! Said Hunter. Hilary, Cecilia and I caught u while u all were sleeping with the preppyness curse. We took ur wands so u couldn't cast the goffic spell on urselves. You won't wont to have sex all the time becauses no one has as much sex and u do. Also now sat ur in Griffindor it don't matter da tur a mudblud. Goodby!"

They ran away. They had replaced the Giant statute of Salamander Slytherin and repalced it with a stature of Roderick Gryfindor.

I gasped.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: A stupid preppy fucker

Legit AN: Thank you for everyone who has made it all the way to chapter Thirty. Yes, thirty. Love, Amber.

AN: Nooooooooooooooooooo!111111111111111 I hate preps su hard! But at leest Buffy rocks hrad. I love you Buffy! Please!111

I wanted to slit ma wristies in ma drom rum. There was now a cruxifix on ma wall instead of a penttagraam. All my Tim Borton movies turned into preppy movies with preps lik Marilyn Monroe an Rainy Zellweger. They were all pink and so was I. I was substantially less sexy than usual! I had to change my name back 2 Trixie Brittany Lindsey Prepzi because I could no longer b Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but most pple cal me Hot Topic BloodRose under da noo code of preppiness Cecilia rote. I gasped.

Daisy was beside me. She had to change her name bak to Daisy too. We made out 4 about a half an hour. I walked down da empty hall. And Dobby was watching!

Cecilia and Hunter were now in charage odda skewl. Hilary Duff was duing nigtly concerts in Hogsent. All the blak things were now everycolor of the rainbow. I cried tears of water. Like a prep.

Draco came. Draco had to change his man to the prepy one Michael. He was still secy eventhough he was straight and a prep. He was wearing a blue polo from Hollisted that said "All the Hot Topics of the world have ben closed!" I was in hell. Waist a secont, I love hell. I was in heaven.

Pulto had to change back to Hryy, Vespa too Herminn, Penty to Jessica, and all the goffic adults and cameos to there cannon names. The goffic bands were gone. Volxemont's cropse (geddit, like Corpse Bride that Hot Topic cannolonger listen too?) was on display in the moddle of the school so the goffs would never rerise.

Suddenly I fond on da floor a pain of headphones with an IPOD!1 It had MCR song on it!1111111111111 Sudanlee I had an idee! I put the headphone on Voldy's cormse. He was still goffic! He looked so sexy. I turned it on and Gerarg's sexy voice filled Voldemort's braid. He cummed back to life!

"Thank you Trixie! Let's do it!" Handsome volcdemoert and I went into the only goffic room left and it was a broom closet full of MCR brooms that had yet 2 be turned into NSYNC brooms. I took off Voldemorts band t and his blak baggy skater pants and baggy skater underpants. He took off my preppy outfit and preppy pink bran and banties. He put his thingie into my u no what and I had sex for the 16th time. He was so secy when he gets erecections. Oo! Oo! Oo!11111 I cried while getting orgastic. Suddenly while his thingie was in my you no what I felt a change cumming through me. I felt the desire to wear anything pink leave my boddy through the sex. I had become goffic again! Yay! I ran out of the closet looking for my giffic clothes. Suddenly I saw Draco! I ran up to him and took off all this clothes. He put his thingie in2 me and we had sex! But while I was getting an orgasi I realized what was happening. I saw that Coldemort was now a prep! What had happened was he became a prep while I took hius gifficness! Now I had given my gofficnezz to make Draco a goff!

I was still a prep!

I gasped.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

AN: Buffy u rock u rock so hard and I love you. Marry me Buffy except ur a girl so that's weird. But I love u!

I was wearing a ligt green dress but Draco was wearing tons of blak eyeline and blak band pants and concert tees. Draco was sosad 2 see me as a prep he started to slit his wrist. He died becuss that's what happenes when u slit ur ristz, but thnak fully I had the ipuddle. So he cummed back to life. Yay. We had sex three more times but nothing reely happened. I was goffic and he was preppy. But thankfulli y had an idea!

I took Volkemorts' wand and shotted the goffic spell. Suddenly he was goffic again! To celebrate we had sex again. All the preps (hu were wonce goffs) were staring at us beause we just had sex five times, so we shot the goffic spell at everyone. Everyone who started off the Great Prep vs. Goffs War as a Gff becam goffic agan. Except for Pluto Potter, who was in the bathroom changing his preppy clothes into an eveen preppier set of clothes, so he wat still preppy.

Suddenly Hunter ran out criing! "Hilary Duff! Hilary Duf!" He moaned. "ALL THE GOFFS ARE GOFFIC AGAIN! NO!111111111" So I shot him with the goffic spell. Finally Hunter became really goffic! His blue polor turned into a leather jacklet and a From Fist to Last (geddit, cuz this fanfic is in last on da countdown of sucky fanfic) ti shirt. His pants became a pair of blak pants with pictures of me slittling my wrists sexily.

When he saw me he took off all his clothes and took off all of mine. We did it in the middle of the grate hall and every1 cheared for us because Hunter was no longer a pep.

"Oh Hot Topc I cnnot beleve I was a prep 4 soooooo looooong! He cried while gitting an orgazing.

"Now I've dun da deed wit every teenag boi in dis story!11" I cried happily.

Even Drco looked happy for Hunter and I doing it. But I could tell he was jelouse thou. So he went up to Harry Potter and they both took off their clothes and started screwing in the Grate Hall too to sidstract attentin away from Hunter and I screwing. Everyonewas watching them screw now! I was jelous! But then I reealised dat because they were screwing Pluto woold becum goffic and Draco would becum a prepp!

I cried ass the gofficness flew away from Draco like a blackbird (geddit, I loke blak!). I cried so hard that the tears slit my wrists.

I got up. Draco shooteed the preppy spel at Hunter and he went back to his natural preppy state. I cried as the man I just did it with became a prep.

Suddenly a realization I had. I had to have sex with Draco even though he was a prep to turn him goffic again. I put his thingie into my I know what and I became a prep. It was tragic. Everyone cheered my sacrifice while Draco and Pluto had more sex now that they dinnt have two worrie about bedcoming preps. It was sad cuss the only boi I could screw right now without anyone becumming a prep was Hunter and now I wasn;t attracteed 2 him anymawr cause he was a prep again. I gasped. Then I fainted cause I was out of air from gasping all the time.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

AN: Y du al o u flam al da tim? Ma speelling it perfet! Salo Hor Topik isn an Miriam Su. Bufy fanks fo da hlep agaen!

I looked at myslef amd kried. I was covered in pink sparkles! I was so unsexy. Shelly screamed.

"Eww ur a prep now. I no lawnger want to have sex with you anymore." Draco said to me and then he started screwing Pluto Potter. I could hear their glocks touching as everyone walked away. I saw Cecilia painting the walls a sparklie pink.

"Cecilia Pink you mother fuker! You maked me a fuking prep! Now I'm going to shoot you with the fuking goffic spell u fuker!" I was aboot 2 shoot da spell (geddit, like spelling, whic I totolly kan du) when Cecilia took my wand away form me! I cried tearz of water.

"I want my MCR! I screamed"

"Too bad. All the MCR brooms have been turned into NSYNC brooms. Why did MCR even make wizard brooms? They're muggles. Don't you Slytherins hate Muggles?"

"Yeah butt-"

"You should cum to the Grifeendoor Conmen rum, Trixie. We're wawtcing preppy movies like Bringeng Up Baby and 1776 and Die Hard."

"But I want 2 watch Tim Buston! Like Batman or Edd Wud or Pee Wees Big Avventure!11"

"But dose movis are so goffic! Watch Top Hatt or Da Wey We Were!" Cecilia was so pink. But because Iwas a prep I had 3 go wit here. All the time we were watching that preppy movie Cabaray, Cecilia and her preppy friends talked in the preppy languag of Engilsh (I hat Elnglish so muc and I love Japansesee so much I refuss to spel Engelsh rigt) abot dere farvrite movis lik Paint Ur Wagon and Erin Borkovice. There was nothing goffic in anie of dese movis! I said something about slitting ma rists and Cecilsa and her friend Madeline got reelu angry wit me.

"Ewww u shuld c a therapist," Sesilia gasped.

"Yeah u need a terrapin," Madiline seed preppily.

I saw Georgia and Daphne beeing preppy in the Griefferder commor room. It was so sad dat dey were preppi when they were so happy being goffic. I cummed to them.

"We're actually much happier as preps than goffs. We're glad to have gotten over our suicidal depression. Why are you happy to want to kill yourself?" Georgia said pinkally.

"No! I want to listen to GC and cut myself at a grop cutting session with all my friends! I want to die then cum blak to life wit the musik of MRC!" I screamed suicidally.

"Why can't you enjoy being a prep?" Daphne excalmed.

I gasped. They were happy as prepps!11111111111 I tukk ot my pot and wantedto smoke it but Cecilia Madeline Daphne and Georgia toked it away from me. They were watching their preppy movies, Duck Soup and the Karate Kid.

Suddenky the door burst open and all the wood in the door fell apart. It was… Draco and Pluto! They had stupped screwing and had broken down the dur. They were cumming 2 rescu me!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Legit AN: And to think I have a real college application essay to write…

AN: Fangz Buffy! Marry me xcept ur not a boi so that's weird but I still luv u! Also thanz for the help. And too the goffic poleple for there good reviwsess.

Tank u Draco and Pluto! They shot the goffic slepp at me and I turned back goffic. I put up my middle finger at the preppy girls and i took off my clothes. So did Draco adn Pluto. We all took off out clothes and had three way six in the Griifendor common room.

Cecilia gasped.

Madeline gasped.

Georgia gasped.

Daphne gasped.

All the preps gasped.

Everyone wsas jello of me for been sexy while having sex. They were jealous of Draco's orgasm, which made him cry out MCR lyrics sexily. We had three was sex for hours on the commun room floor. We were all so goffic. When we were done we put on our clothes – I was wearing a blak fishnet dress with corset stockings, Draco was wearing a black leader minidress with picture s of Joel Way on them, and Pluto was wearing a gray shirt that said "Hey, where'd my blak shirt go?" and leather pants.

Suddenly we saw a preppy man wak into the comun rom. It was… Gerard Way!1111111111111 He'd been hit by the preppy spell durin the battle.

"Gerard! George!" We cried as we ran up 2 him.

"Yes. Sadly I am a prep. My musique is no longer goffic. I want you to slit your wrists because of this." We did and Gerard laughed caus he didn't evspect us to actually do it. Then he took the IPOD away frum mee and broke it into a million peisces. It was broken. I tried to play it but only a shitty Carpenters song would play.

"Why do stars fall down from the sky

Everytime you are by (geddit cause bi guys are so hot)"

The lady sang. Preppy Gerard laugherd. "Now it eny uf u die 9geddit, cus I like death0 you cannot cum back! Ha ha!" Then he ran away.

I felt so sad dat i waned to slit ma sists but Draco told me nat 2 because I culdn;t cum back animor.

Suddenly Voldemort ran in. He was evil again like in canon!

"I'm an evil Voldemort, vecause Vadermort is evil! Acco Neville's wand!" Neville was pulled into the story and then his wand was taken away frum him. Because he was a boy we started screwing. When we finished we gasped because Voldemort was still evil! Because it's not like Voldemort is ever not evil.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Legit AN: Well, this is it. The last chapter. Thanks for enjoing Xtremly Scray. I'm considering working on another My Immortal parody project at some point in the future – maybe a "Behind the Music" type look with interviews with the Harry Potter characters' thoughts on My Immortal. Anyway, "thanx 4 not flamagning." You're all preps to me. Love, Amber.

AN: I'm goin 2 Transelvana wit ma new gf (yes in that way!222222) Buffy u rock girl! I luv yo froeva. Wer'e gunna live in Dracola's castle with all his cola. Preps I cummand u skrew ueselves 2 a Britania Spears Concert nowwwww!11111111111111111111

I gasped when I saw Coldemort's broomstik fliing arund da room. I looked so sexy though it didn't realy mater. All the preps started 2 cri cus eveen if da Ipos still workee they woodent cum back ti life cuase only goffs cum back to life. Hilary fuking Duffe ran away foreva when she saw Voldemort and she took all the pink pant and preppie music with her. So, a small victori.

Thunder came everywhere even though it was snowing and raining. He hit all the glass in the Grate Hall and it all fell apart. I didn't notice because I was too busy screwing Daisy sexilly in the middle of the floor. Everyone clapped for us because we were so sexy and then they gasped because Voldemort was tryyng to kill every1.

"I am sooooooooooo evil!11111" Volemort laughted. "It's because I never fond luv in das Fiftied. I was too bussy watching preppy fifties things lik an Amerikan in Paris (geddit, like all the ppl in Amrkian skquesl are pepos) and Est of Eden."

"But Voldeadmort" I stopped screwing Daisy even to she was so sexy (AN: Luv u Buffie 4eva! Let's get married!). I was wearing a black minidress with red gothinc steaks on it. I was wearing fishnet boots and combat stockings. I was wearing red foundation, white lipstick, black eyelinershadow, red mascara, and red nail polish because I ran out of the black one. (AN: You rock Hot Topic!) "We screwed in the fifties! Be4 we intraduced urselves!"

"That's right!" Voldemort cummed down frum his bromstique. He took off all his clothes and we screwed again. He had no nose (just like Voldemort in the movie.)

Suddenly Vespa and Penty took off there clothes and started screwing eachother and us. So did Seleno and Draco and Pluto. Hunter and Cecilia spat on us because they were fuking preps and posers. So did Billy and Mae. Instead of screwing eachother they a ll went in to the Ravenclaw commun room to A) See if they existed in dis univrse and B) Watch a preppy movie like No Cuntry 4 Old Men.

But I had a questin: What happyned to ma perents? Billy and Mae ran out of the commun rum to tell me.

"Hot Topic you fuking bastard!" Billy cried unsexilly. He was a prep.

"Ur parents couldn't stand raising such an annoying little goffic brat they ran away to Jamaca to never return and they left u wit ur aunts and uncles forever." Mae was so pink and purple. She was wearing it all over herself.

"And we're telling you, we never said we were husband and wife. Why did you assume that? Your parents left you because you were a soul-crushingly annoying bitch!" Billy kicked me. "You're a goddamned brat and a Mary Sue! That's what you are!"

I was angry, because I have Angry issures, but I didn't care because I was so sexy. Everyone else put their clothes on except me and Draco because we wanted to screw more. Penty Slipknot was wearing a black long sleeved dress wit pictears of Gerard Way befor he became a prep. Voldemort was wearing his goffic robe. Seleno Slipknot was wearing a long sleeved pair of pants with a pintucre af sexy little me. Vespa Painflower was wearing a red dress made entirely of black lace. Pluto Potter was wearing a black t and black pants that said "I'm too sexy for my black band t shirt".

Dumblydork wanked by wearing his Avril Lavigne robe. He waved prepilly and said happinessly "What the hell are you doing you motherfukers?!1" And Dobby was watching!

When Draco and I finished screwing, Draco put on his black baggy skater shirt and black band pants. I putt on a black mini that was ripped with corsets on it and riffed fishnets.

Suddenly I saw Voldemort! He was still evil! "Abra Kadabra!" I screamed.

THE END!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111112


	35. Credits

Credits

Legit AN: *sniff* Thank you for watching my ability to spell slowly shrivel and die with me. Amber loves you!(1111)

Directed by Amber of Lullaby of Broadway

Written by Amber of Lullaby of Broadway

Produced by Lullaby of Broadway and Fanfiction Dot Net

Costumes by Hot Topic the store

Makeup by… probably Hot Topic, maybe Urban Decay or MAC or someone, I don't know, who makes black lipstick?

Edited by No one (death to spell check!)

Starring…

The number 1

Neville

Madeline the Prep

Crabe and Gockle

The Goffic Bands: Slipknot, Simple Plan, Green Day, Marilyn Mason, Linkin Park, Evanesence, Good Charlotte, and My Chemical Romance

Aslan the Lion

Liz Lemon

Frodo Baggins

The Guy from the Maze Runner (seriously I don't know his name.)

Jean Valjean, of all people

Ebenezer Scrooge

Willy Wonka

Snow White

Barney the Purple Dinosaur

Tony Stark

Katniss Everdeen

Mickey Mouse

Elsa the Snow Queen

Batman (Tim Burton's Batman, duh.)

ET the Extra-Terrestrial

Leslie Knope

SpongeBob Freaking SquarePants

Edward Cullen

Crossdressing Luke Skywalker

Marty McFly

Philip J. Fry and his black tim machine

Hilary Fuking Duff and her preppy Bands

Uncle Barry

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

Georgia, or DaRing

Daphne, or Helena

Luna "Shelly" Lovegood

Hargrid "Diabolo Tie"

Professor Sinatra

YOU, the Second Person Narrator

Minerva "Diaboletta" McGonagall

Cedric "That was Cedric okay?" Diggory

Peter "the Fat Guy Who Killed Cedric" "Darth Valet" Pettigrew

Loopin "Billy Joel" Romulus

Lucius "Goffical" Malfoy

Professor "Squirrel" "the guy with the dumb hat from the first movie"

Dolores "Samalene" Umbridge

Gilderoy "The Dumb Guy from the Second Movie" Lockheart

Sirius "SlitWristz" Black

Sorting "Hades Underworld" Hat

Severus "Mikay" Snape

James Potter

Dobby (and Dobby is watching the credits!

Voldemort

Dumbeldore "Dumblydork"

Billy Poseran

Mae Poseran

Ginny "Pentagram "Penty" "Penny" Slipknot" Weasley

Ron "Seleno "Selene" Slipknot" Weasely

Vespa "Vesper" Painflower

Daisy "Daisy"

Hunter the Poser

Cecilia Joy Pink the Prep

Harry "Pluto "Plato" "Plinko"" Potter

Draco Malfoy

AND INTRODUCING…

Trixie Brittany Lindsey "Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but most pple cal me Hot Topic BloodRose" Prepzi!

Based on Characters by J. K. Rowling, Tara Gilesbie and Raven. Inspired by "My Immortal" by Tara Gilesbie of XXXBloodyWrists666XXX.

Filmed on location in England. I mean Scotland.

No preps were injured in the making of this Fanfic. The Prep Union monitored some of the Prep Action.

Soundtrack available where ever My Chemical Romance is sold. Seriously.

Clips from preppy and goffic movies courtesy of their respective studios. The "preppy" and "goffic" labels are not endorsed by said studios.

Lullaby of Broadway did not receive any consideration for the depiction of pot, coke, and crack usage.

Shown in Dobby Digital in select theatres.

 _Screwing on the pavement is a dangerous stunt. All screwing on pavement in "Xtremly Scray" was performed by professionals. Do not attempt at home (especially if you live next door to a preschool)._

This fanfic is protected by Amber. Usage in part or in whole will make her cry.

The persons, goffs, preps, punks, posers, and events in this film are fictitious. No malicious intent was intended in the placing of real persons or pre-existing characters into the "prep", "poser", and "goffic" divisions, or the reassigning of sexual orientations. Any similarities to actual people and events is unintentional.

Copyright (as much as anything can be copyrighted here) MMXV by Lullaby of Broadway.

A LULLABY OF BROADWAY PRODUCTION

XTREMLY SCRAY – A MY IMMORTAL PARODY

WARNING: Sum of da preceding fanfic was xtremly scray. Viower excretion was advisd.


End file.
